Research has shown how close, supportive and emotional relationships can be for mental and physical health. This is especially true for those recovering from addiction or other mental health issues. The quality of the relationship is key. For example, a happy marriage or a stable partnership can reduce stress and be a barrier against depression. On the other hand, according to studies by the Mental Health Foundation, an unhealthy relationship with a significant other can be worse for mental health than being single and living alone.
But how do you know if a relationship is bad for your mental health? How can you tell if a partner is making your anxiety worse? If you’re thinking, “This relationship is making me depressed,” but you’re not sure why, how do you become aware?
Do you feel worse in your relationship than when you were single?
This is a common question. The person asking this question may be well aware that they feel worse in a relationship, but identifying the root cause or predicting the mental health impact is another matter.
5 warning signs to look for in your emotional relationships:
- You often feel doubtful. Your mind is busy with constant doubts and worries about your spouse’s behavior.
- You censor yourself regularly. Keeping things that are very important to you and holding them back will prevent you from enjoying emotional intimacy.
- You feel that you are constantly misunderstood. You may have frequent disagreements with your partner where you feel like they don’t hear you or “get” you.
- You feel like you don’t know your partner anymore. Ideally, growth and change happen with understanding, communication and transparency.
- Resentments are formed in your heart and remain. Instead of openly talking about the problems, one of the two people may be silently angry with the other.
How do we know if a romantic partner makes our anxiety worse?
Various factors in emotional relationships can contribute to a person’s anxiety. For example: constant fear that your partner will leave you, feeling confused and angry in the relationship, struggling to trust your partner or saying “yes” to sex when you really don’t want it.
Signs that cause dissatisfaction in the relationship and if continued will lead to depression:
- Feeling low security in the relationship
- Constantly guessing the motivations of the emotional partner
- Feeling of lack in the relationship
- Feeling empty after interaction
- One person does all the “work” in the relationship
- Fear of upsetting the partner or causing conflict and tension
- Making excuses for your partner
- Worry about when you will see him again
- Lack of personal growth
Controller character
If the partner is a controlling person, it can be bad for the partner’s mental health. A controlling nature can manifest itself in many ways. A controlling partner “may be preoccupied with blaming others, speaking in all-or-nothing terms and escalating conflicts, or exhibiting uncontrolled or intense emotions such as anger over a minor problem.” Also, a controlling partner may constantly use threats in their conversations. For example, they might say things like “I’m going to show people how awful you are” or “If we get divorced, you’ll never see the kids again.”
The controlling partner may also:
- Separate your partner from family and friends
- Try to put your partner in contrast with others
- Treating your partner as if they are never good enough
- Ignore the needs of your emotional partner
How to help yourself to get out of toxic communication?
- Acknowledge that there is a problem. Losing good feelings can hurt you over time.
- Be kind to yourself and empathize. You are experiencing natural and human emotions.
- Talk to someone about your problems. Sometimes putting your feelings into words can help you do the right thing.
- Take care of your mind and body. Eating well, sleeping well and exercising can help.
- Seek treatment and improvement of your condition.
Can an emotional relationship cause mental illness?
No doubt a toxic relationship can harm your mental health, the short answer is yes: a relationship can contribute to mental illness. For example, emotionally stressful relationships can lead to the onset of depression, or it can be true in people who have genetic markers for anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues.
Tips for having a healthy emotional relationship and mental health
One way to practice mental health in a emotionally healthy relationship is to avoid the following:
- Existence of imbalance. Relationships need fairness and balance.
- Lack of empathy. It is important to practice empathy.
- The number of negative interactions should not exceed positive interactions.
- Perform blame behaviors
